The Reward System Blowing Parent’s Minds

By: Sarah Huffer

Kids are cute right? Totally cute, until you realize they are lazy little fruit snack goblins who are on the road to living in your basement until 40 years old never cleaning up their plate without being reminded. So here is the first step to get their shoes out of the middle of the floor:

We thought it was important to not give our daughter an allowance, because we think she should do some of these things without being paid and just because she is part of the family.
Our family has unsuccessfully tried many ways to get my child to cooperate in the house, until NOW!

1. What You NEED:

We found a large container. Went outside for a few rocks to start. We labeled 5 rewards onto the jar with the largest prize on top.

Seriously…its that easy!

 

2. Choose Reward:

Ie: bike, tablet, cash, something they really want. They do not have to be extravagant or cost money. Fishing with Dad, Family Board game night with pizza, park with mom. This is the time to bribe with the lego set or baby doll they have been dying to get! Let the child pick the prizes(with some of your suggestions), so they are motivated to get them. This is critical to the process.

More ideas for prizes:

  • Shopkins
  • Fidget Spinner
  • Ice cream
  • Pedicure
  • Go cart riding
  • Putt putt golf
  • Dave & Busters
  • Trip to the Zoo
  • Trip to Gas Station for candy and drink
  • New flashlight
  • New shoes
  • Lazy Day
  • Pizza Party
  • Kid picks restaurant
  • Later bedtime Night
  • Friend Sleepover
  • Movie
  • Netflix subscription here
  • Gift cards
  • New Pet fish
  • Park Picnic

 

3. Choose the Desired Behaviors:

Contribute to the family. Do homework. Keep room clean. Contribute kindness to others. Emotional control. Practice piano/handwriting, empty the dishwasher, be in bed by 8 pm. You know what your child needs! Make sure the desired actions are all different. Keep it extremely simple and clear. No more than three behaviors. The jar is ongoing so there is plenty of opportunity to introduce new desired behaviors on the next jar.

The Rules Are Simple:

The child receives a stone for each behavior attained that day. The child cannot lose stones that they have earned. Once the stones are in the jar, they cannot be removed. The repercussions for not reaching desired behavior is not getting that behavior stone that day. Remember tomorrow is always a new day brimming with the opportunity to make good choices.Gifting stones is at your discretion.

Keep the behaviors simple. Did the child unload the dishwasher or not? Did the child follow directions easily? You want the child to succeed at this. Do not complicate the process. It builds their confidence and the good behavior becomes habit.

Special Circumstances: On the contrary if daughter had a meltdown and went to her room and got herself together, she was still eligible for a stone. She corrected her mistake. Progress is always stone worthy!

Helpful Hints

  • Make sure the child is earning a prize approximately every 2 weeks. Stones do not have to be same size, but helps if they are close. My daughter would pick the seemingly bigger stone to try to up her jar. I would let her put in the stones before bed. Commonly used the phrase, brush your teeth and we will put stones in your jar…2 birds one stone 😊 If I put them in she always watched. Be consistent. Do not forget to put stones in the jar.
  • Test how many stones it takes before they reach their goal. That way you know the expected time for the reward. Is it at a good time? Will you be able to afford it? Then you can expect its arrival. Be consistent. You must make good on your promise. Provide the reward right away. It builds trust.
  • Kids are usually excited to get this started, so have the materials ready when you introduce the idea.
Let me know what kind of rewards your child picked, we love sharing new creative ideas. It’s an ongoing jar so I am always looking for new ones! What behaviors are you promoting? How has the stone jar worked for your family so far?
Comment Below 🙂

 

Unbasic B*tch

Fitting in is the most miserable decision of my life.

Written By: Sarah Huffer

 

Fitting in is the most miserable decision of my life.

I’m clumsy and mostly awkward. Weirdly happy and bright. Somewhere in life, I decided I needed to blend. Like ya’ll blend eyeshadow, I smudged my personality until I became one watered down fragment of a soul without any defining characteristics.

I agreed with the crowd. I contoured my face(I still suck at this). I worshipped fall. I pinned Pinterest projects. Should I buy a salt rock lamp or eat kale? I was powerless to Target.

Even more, I highlighted the best parts of my life to portray my life. In reality, I couldn’t keep up with the dishes. I burn bread. My kids were feeding their healthy dessert to the dogs. My youngest daughter is, literally, pissed off all the time. She only smiles when you are hurting yourself.

This world of Starbucks, Kardashians (except you Khloe, you my girl), and Fitbits blow balls! I hate your paper Mache hanging spheres and your Hobby Lobby chevron color theme! What happened to janky homemade Birthday cakes?! Can we bring that back, please?

cake

Let’s make imperfect normal. Write a shitty draft, paint a terrible picture, eat pizza rolls for dinner. How else will we have time to live? If I’m keeping up this charade, how will I teach my kids depth and values? Compassion for people? Tribe achievements? I can’t let my kids think this is life.

We participate in a world where social media occupies a portion of our day. Keeping up with appearances and unnecessary updates of our lives has priority over more meaningful contributions. Your attention is valuable. Quit being a sucker.

Ok. I like seeing my family’s baby pictures and pictures of your vacations. Cat videos are hilarious. Somehow, social media has provided a small insight into what is going on in the world. However, I will remind you that between every funny meme and post about your mason jar salad is an overload of disturbing information that you are allowing to litter your mind. These things affect you on a serious level! Every ridiculous rant, sick news article, shared report about physically abused animals you scan, is poisoning your healthy psyche and littering your soul. We are the problem.

I am not on a cloud. I know unspeakable things lurk in the shadows. My proposal is to contribute more positivity than complacency. Instead of sharing the terrible conviction, share an article on how the community is solving the problem. Let’s shine a light on what is beautiful and cast the horrendous into nonexistence. Who knows…all your happy vibes may inspire someone on the edge of doing unspeakable things into being a better human being.

powerfulthinking

You all have choice here. You have all the power! Let’s spend a portion of our social media time connecting with a human, contributing to our country, or adding light and love into the stratosphere? Please fill my news feed with posts about you achieving, making a difference, or an impactful way love has bestowed a change in your or somebody else’s life…and laughing baby videos, because…well…I believe they can change lives.

 You are an unstoppable force, start acting that way!