Succeed At Failing

Still not sure what I want to be when I grow up, but I WILL find it!

 By: Sarah Huffer


I left another job. Looking closer into the situation I’m fearful I’ll never find my spot. Although, all my jobs have felt like home…deep down I know I’m just a tourist. 

Jack of all trades by now. I’m really struggling in the employment area of my life. I sway whether I need to listen to my inner guidance or that my voice is just a spoiled brat. The really fun part is I get to pick the perception.

I’ve decided I’m going to give whatever this is a shot. Whatever this is that calls me, I’m going to listen and see where it takes me. I’ve realized nothing actually takes ME, I take it where IT wants to go. I’m not going to follow anymore. I’m going to lead…for once in my life. I’m going to stand up brave and say “here we go, are you down?” 

And life is ecstatic I finally understand what it’s been saying for YEARS! 

I’ve been so scared to fail. Pretty ironic for a walking wild card. All my carefully planned pieces only get me what I can see. It’s time to take my risks and just screw this all up!Wow! You totally tanked that workshop last night. What a shitty story you wrote or you literally helped zero people.I want embarrassed reactions and I feel sorry for you e-mails.Who knows maybe the dice will land right and I will reach places I can’t even imagine!   I will grow from there.

I’m naturally good at many things, I’m scared shitless to think there might be something I suck at. I’m going to find that thing.

I can feel myself start to curl up. Negotiate about getting too big and justifying the benefits of being small. My inwards already do not like these very ideas written on paper.

There is no safety net to protect me from this. No pillow to soften the fall. I haven’t felt this way since I was 18 trucking to Florida from Indiana alone. I knew how big it was then, almost like I had no choice.

I have to keep reminding myself that the Universe wants to support me. Believes in me. Loves me. 

I’m going to give failing a shot…maybe I’ll succeed. Either outcome will be better than staying the same.

Unbasic B*tch

Fitting in is the most miserable decision of my life.

Written By: Sarah Huffer

 

Fitting in is the most miserable decision of my life.

I’m clumsy and mostly awkward. Weirdly happy and bright. Somewhere in life, I decided I needed to blend. Like ya’ll blend eyeshadow, I smudged my personality until I became one watered down fragment of a soul without any defining characteristics.

I agreed with the crowd. I contoured my face(I still suck at this). I worshipped fall. I pinned Pinterest projects. Should I buy a salt rock lamp or eat kale? I was powerless to Target.

Even more, I highlighted the best parts of my life to portray my life. In reality, I couldn’t keep up with the dishes. I burn bread. My kids were feeding their healthy dessert to the dogs. My youngest daughter is, literally, pissed off all the time. She only smiles when you are hurting yourself.

This world of Starbucks, Kardashians (except you Khloe, you my girl), and Fitbits blow balls! I hate your paper Mache hanging spheres and your Hobby Lobby chevron color theme! What happened to janky homemade Birthday cakes?! Can we bring that back, please?

cake

Let’s make imperfect normal. Write a shitty draft, paint a terrible picture, eat pizza rolls for dinner. How else will we have time to live? If I’m keeping up this charade, how will I teach my kids depth and values? Compassion for people? Tribe achievements? I can’t let my kids think this is life.

We participate in a world where social media occupies a portion of our day. Keeping up with appearances and unnecessary updates of our lives has priority over more meaningful contributions. Your attention is valuable. Quit being a sucker.

Ok. I like seeing my family’s baby pictures and pictures of your vacations. Cat videos are hilarious. Somehow, social media has provided a small insight into what is going on in the world. However, I will remind you that between every funny meme and post about your mason jar salad is an overload of disturbing information that you are allowing to litter your mind. These things affect you on a serious level! Every ridiculous rant, sick news article, shared report about physically abused animals you scan, is poisoning your healthy psyche and littering your soul. We are the problem.

I am not on a cloud. I know unspeakable things lurk in the shadows. My proposal is to contribute more positivity than complacency. Instead of sharing the terrible conviction, share an article on how the community is solving the problem. Let’s shine a light on what is beautiful and cast the horrendous into nonexistence. Who knows…all your happy vibes may inspire someone on the edge of doing unspeakable things into being a better human being.

powerfulthinking

You all have choice here. You have all the power! Let’s spend a portion of our social media time connecting with a human, contributing to our country, or adding light and love into the stratosphere? Please fill my news feed with posts about you achieving, making a difference, or an impactful way love has bestowed a change in your or somebody else’s life…and laughing baby videos, because…well…I believe they can change lives.

 You are an unstoppable force, start acting that way!